For Her
by HilsonMarvey27
Summary: Post-Tick Tick Tick, Barney cant handle Robin breaking his heart so soon after gaining so much hope. He isn't sure where to turn so he begins coping using past methods that aren't good for him. Warning: probably swearing later and self-harm in early chps.
1. Chapter 1

Barney looked down at his hand curled in a fist, still bleeding. He looked up and saw what was left of the mirror above the bathroom sink. A flash of light caught his eye. He looked down, into the sink, and saw a broken shard of glass. He hadn't realized he had actually moved until he looked down and saw his hand holding the shard, hovering over his bare forearm.

Barney let out a sigh as he slowly pressed the glass into his skin.

He had promised himself that he wouldn't do this again. He wouldn't allow his emotions and personal relationships to drive him to the edge. To make him do this again. He didn't think he could live with himself if he was hospitalized again. He barely survived the last time. Now it was happening again.

He couldn't help but slowly and deeply drag the edge across his skin. He watched as blood seeped from the wound and gradually dripped onto the stainless, white tiles. Forever present.

His thoughts drifted back to earlier this evening. He had broken up with Nora _for her_. She, though, she just shook her head 'no'. She had taken the easy and selfish way out. He had given up the best relationship he has ever had (besides with her) _for her_.

How? How could she?

He remembered how for what felt like an eternity, he just stood next to the bar. Wondering. What would he do with his life now? He'd broken his girlfriend's (ex- now) heart and in turn had his broken by his ex.

He had felt a phantom hand take a hold of his heart and gripped it, pulling it out of his chest. He had gone back to Ted's apartment and had had to clean up her room and bed.

He had decorated it for when they got back together.

Why? Why had she lied to him? Deceived him.

He couldn't remember exactly what happened after that, but he figured he had just walked into their bathroom and…came to here.

Standing in front of shattered mirror slowly trying to erase his emotional pain through physical pain. He couldn't bear being here anymore. Not in her apartment.

He quickly pulled down his sleeves and took a breath before opening the bathroom door. When he stepped outside it, he saw Ted, Lily, and Marshall talking in hushed voices in the center of the main room. He was about to try to run out of the apartment when Ted, who was sitting in the chair facing the bathroom, quickly stood up and Lily and Marshall turned around and stood as well.

He was terrified. He didn't think he could handle his friends finding out about what he just did.

He didn't want to be alone again.

He took a step back and as he did Ted spoke.

"Barney, dude, what happened early, are you okay?" Ted actually looked genuinely concerned. Actually, all three of them did.

Barney didn't know why. He didn't think they knew anything besides that he broke up with Nora, so what did they have to be concerned about?

"I'm fine." He didn't even try to force a grin or even a small smile – anything to reassure his friends.

He just couldn't.

Not now.

"There's obviously something bothering you, Barney. Why else would you be here and not in _your_ apartment." Lily retorted. Ted wisely didn't mention that he saw Barney cleaning out _her _room. He doubted Barney even remembered Ted standing there watching as Barney locked himself in the bathroom.

"There's also the fact that your hand is bleeding as well as…your arm?" Ted's matter-of-fact tone turned to one of confusion as he watched the blood slowly seep into his white button-down shirt sleeve. He had heard Barney break the glass earlier, that was why he called Marshall and Lily, but he hadn't know about the arm. Was it from the mirror?

Barney's eyes widened at this, and he muttered an almost silent, "I gotta go," before trying to speed walk to the door with his head down.

Marshall stepped in front of him and put his hand on Barney's shoulder to stop him.

"Come on, dude, what's wrong? At least show us what happened to your arm." Marshall spoke before Barney got the chance to.

Barney again tempted to walk past Marshall saying something along the lines of having to get up early the next day, but Ted just walked over to Barney and grabbed his uninjured hand. He turned Barney around and without giving him time to react, shoved his shirt sleeve up his arm.

Lily quietly gasped, Marshall's eyes widened, and Ted's mouth opened slightly as they stared at the deep cuts covering Barney's arm. For his part, Barney kept his eyes fixed on the floor and tried to pretend this was just a nightmare. That he was actually anywhere but here. _Anywhere. _(Well, mostly anywhere.)

When Barney looked up his eyes were glistening with unshed tears as he whispered, "I'm sorry, guys." Before pushing past Marshall and Ted and quickly exiting the apartment, leaving his three friends staring at his retreating back.

**A/N: Any good? I LOVE vulnerable/hurt/depressed!Barney so yeah...Please review I'd like to know if anyone likes this so as to know if I should continue of not...Please review, reviews are like fandoms. Once you become addicted you can't stop. EVER.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Still not answering his cell, at his apartment, or any of the local strip clubs." Ted reported as he slipped into their group's booth at MacLaren's.

Marshall and Lily's hopeful faces fell.

Ever since Barney had ran out of Ted's apartment a few days ago – no one has seen him.

They've looked for him everywhere but nobody could find him.

Ted also told Marshall and Lily about what he had seen Barney doing before he locked himself in the bathroom. They had been shocked and had realized that it was probably all _her_ fault. She probably did something to, unknowingly or not, break his heart again.

So far they'd left her in the dark about what happened to Barney which caused them to all act awkward around her. They would make up excuses for why Barney wasn't there (usually involving a young, gullible woman). She was getting suspicious, however, so they'd always quickly change the subject.

"Wherever the hell Barney is, he's doing a good job of hiding there…" Lily added sadly.

"But, when he left we saw all the…" Marshall trailed off as they all silently added, _cuts. Self-inflicted cuts. _"…I mean, he probably wasn't in a safe state-of-mind to go running around town and making decisions."

The others nodded their agreement in silence.

"I'm gonna go back to his apartment again to check." Ted blurted out.

"Ted, you just came back from there odds are, he's not there yet." Marshall tried to reason.

"I don't care! I mean, the longer he's missing, the more opportunity he has to do something to himself that he'll regret. He's our friend – our bro. You never leave a bro hanging. I think that's in the bro code…anyway, I have to find him. I gotta go." And with that, Ted quickly jogged out of their favorite bar and out into the cold New York streets in search of a cab.

By the time Ted got there, his former kind of adrenaline rush had worn off and he realized that Marshall was right. The odds of Barney being here yet were slim and he probably should have stayed at the bar. Ted sighed as he opened the apartment door for the second time that day with the key Barney had given him.

He'd said it was for "Emergencies, ONLY! 'Cause if you walk in and I'm bangin' some chick, she'll think I'm gay and storm out. Or ask for a devil's three-way, in which case-" Ted had lasted this long before cutting him off and just accepting the terms.

He hadn't thought that he'd ever had to use the key, but was now glad he had accepted it. Of course, why wouldn't he? They're bros.

Ted smiled. As much as Barney annoyed _the __**hell**_ out of them at times, they all knew that the group just wouldn't be the same without him.

Suddenly, halfway through opening the door, the door hit something. Ted carefully squeezed through the half-open doorway and his heart leapt at what he saw. Ted's initial elation was half-lived, however, and quickly turned into shocked silence.

There was Barney. He was _alive_. His condition, though. He looked like he could be dead – _should_ be dead.

His body – usually covered by a full suit, was only wearing a ripped up dress shirt and his dress pants were ripped in several places and the knees were completely gone. Also, every part of skin visible was either bruised or cut.

Ted was torn between waking Barney, who at this point he wasn't sure was asleep or unconscious, or waking him up and taking him to a hospital. He appeared to need the sleep, though, if the dark bags under his eyes indicated anything. Ted sighed and with a twinge of regret, but with Barney's best interest in mind, began attempting to wake Barney.

After a few seconds of _attempting_ to wake Barney, he remembered he needed to call Marshall and Lily.

The day that Barney went missing, the three of them had made an agreement. If they heard, saw, or even smelled Barney or a hint of where he was, they had to tell the other two.

Ted listened impatiently as the phone rang. After a few seconds (that to Ted seemed like an hour), Marshall picked up the phone. Ted immediately began talking as fast as he could and wasn't sure Marshall could even understand him. He must have though because fifteen minutes later, Marshall and Lily were at Barney's apartment. By that time, Ted had managed to half-carry, half-drag Barney's (still unconscious) body to his couch.

When the two entered the apartment they both ran straight over to Barney. Lily felt her mouth open and her sight began to blur slightly with tears. Marshall was shocked with what he saw and he immediately began mentally cataloguing Barney's injuries to try and gauge his health.

Lily was the first to break the silence.

"Should we take him to a hospital or call an ambulance, or something?" She whispered. she seemed afraid of talking loud enough that she might wake him.

Ted nodded his head as he took his cell phone back out to call for an ambulance.

Barney slowly woke up. When he looked around he noticed he was in his own apartment. He barely remembered coming back to his apartment, yet alone unlocking his door and laying down on his couch.

He couldn't help but think of what brought him here. More precisely:_ who._

Robin.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in like **_**forever**_** but life's been busy and I got distracted with other fics but I just got a burst of inspiration for this one so I'll hopefully be updating it more.**

**Also, any legal or medical mistakes in here are my own and please go with it, because I am not a lawyer nor a doctor, just a writer.**

**Enjoy~**

Ted felt his leg bounce with nervous energy. He didn't know how bad Barney's injuries were yet, and it was killing him.

By the time the ambulance got there, Barney had been awake – groggy, but awake – and Marshall, Lily, and Ted had been trying to understand his inane mumbling, which mainly consisted of "Robin", "bitch", and "in love". His mumbling did, however, confirm their suspicions of Robin being involved. Other than that, they couldn't understand him and when the EMTs came they didn't have any information about the cause or extend of their friend's injuries.

Ted had been allowed to ride with Barney in the ambulance to the hospital, but Marshall and Lily had had to get a cab there. Now, the three of them sat in the ER waiting room anxiously awaiting any news about his condition. It had been about fifteen minutes before any of them remembered Robin.

"Shit…Robin has no idea where we are and she's already confused as it is…should we call her?" Marshall and Lily were surprised to realize that they had all forgotten about her until now, but knew Ted was right about calling her.

"I don't know if Barney will like it, since she obviously had something to do with it, but I don't see any other choice, really. She's gonna find out eventually." Marshall's voice was quiet, but resigned.

Lily nodded her agreement. "I'll call her, and explain what happened. Well, what we know of, anyway." Lily then stood up, out of the stiff, plastic waiting room chairs, and walked into the women's bathroom for some quiet and privacy.

XXX

Ted and Marshall were sitting in silence when the doctor approached them. Their eyes snapped up to his when he addressed them.

"I'm Dr. Mitchell, are you guys friends and family of Mr. Stinson?" They both nodded emphatically. "Well, he's stable. He hasn't sustained any life-threatening injuries but some are kind of severe. Well to start, he has many contusions marring his whole body, basically. He has some deep cuts on his arm, which weren't treated – at all, it seems – and have resulted in an infection. Lastly, he seems to have suffered a concussion, the extent of which will be determined from some tests if he or his power of attorney consents, and since he is unconscious, we need the power of attorney."

Marshall and Ted both silently absorbed the information, before Ted replied, "I'm his power of attorney." Ted knew they had talked about it, but he never knew if Barney ever went through with it. He hoped for Barney's own sake that he did.

Dr. Mitchell looked through some of the papers in his hand before looking up to address Ted again. "Are you Theodore Mosby?"

Ted breathed a sigh of relief and absentmindedly observed Marshall's just as relieved expression, as he replied. "Yes, I am. And you can do that concussion test, an MRI, right?"

The doctor nodded, "Yup, I'll schedule his MRI now. Also, he is okay for visitors if you want to go in to see him, he's in room 283." Dr. Mitchell nodded one more time before leaving the two men in the waiting room.

Ted stood and was about to walk down to Barney's room, but stopped when he realized Marshall was still sitting. "Aren't you going to go to Barney's room?" Ted asked him.

"Not yet, I'm going to wait until Lily comes back, so she doesn't wonder where we are." Marshall replied, casually, also staying behind to give Ted a little time alone with Barney.

"Okay," Ted responded quickly, anxious to visit his friend and assess his condition with his own eyes. Ted left Marshall sitting there as he made his way to room 283.

XXX

Lily entered the women's bathroom, and took a deep breath, steeling herself for her friend's anger at being lied to. She took out her phone and dialed the familiar number. She answered on the first ring.

"Hey, where have you guys been? I've been calling Ted for over an hour, he-"

"We're at the hospital." Lily blurted out, interrupting Robin. There was a split second of stunned silence before Lily heard a reply.

"What happened? Who's hurt?"

"It's Barney, and we're not really sure what's happened. But there's something we haven't told you about." Lily paused as she inhaled deeply, preparing herself. "Barney's been missing for three days. No contact or anything."

"_What?_" Came the angry, shocked reply. "So all those times I asked where he was you guys were lying to me? And, and all those times you guys acted strangely around me, it was 'cause you were lying, and…" Lily could practically hear the puzzle pieces clicking together in Robin's mind. But forced herself to focus Robin.

"I know you're upset with us, but Barney's in the hospital right now. You have to get here, now!" Lily used the most demanding tone she could muster at the moment.

There was a sigh on the other end of the line. "I don't think that's a good idea, Lily. I don't think he wants to see me right now. We had a…fight." The uneasiness in her tone concerned Lily, but she pushed on.

"I don't care if either of you wanted to kill the other, Barney's hurt right now so none of that matters, anymore, capisce?"

Another brief silence before Robin's reply, "I'll be there as soon as I can."

Lily nodded as she hung up the phone, even though she knew Robin couldn't see her. She was coming – that's what was important. Lily smiled slightly as she exited the bathroom. Even though the two were fighting, Barney and Robin still cared for each other.

They always did.

When Lily looked at their seats in the waiting room, she frowned noticing Ted's was empty. She spoke as she neared Marshall. "Where's Ted?"

Marshall jolted slightly when she spoke, but he quickly debriefed her on the situation. They then made their way to Barney's hospital room.

**A/N: Sorry for the semi-short chapter, but again, hopefully I will be updating more from now on.**

**Please Review~**


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